John virtual aurora

(no subject)

Title: Ask Me No Secrets, I'll Tell You No Lies
Author: ltcoljsheppard
Rating:  R, slash
Pair:    Sheppard/Lorne, with guest Radek Zelenka
Word count: 4,350
Disclaimer: Don't own the known characters you recognize or anything regarding Stargate Atlantis. No profit is made from this story, it's just for fun and fan entertainment. No disrespect is ever intended toward Stargate characters, owners or creators.
Note ** My answer to a slash fic challenge by sgatlantisrose... any short story slashing Sheppard with Lorne. Now that was a challenge! Hope you like what you read. - JS 
~    *    ~    *    ~
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The project of the day was tweaking one of the Puddle Jumper's systems in order to maintain a large diameter force field bubble that would allow the biology department a chance to study the oceanography and marine life at the bottom of Lantea's oceans in relative ease and safety. But it turned lunch time and the two were famished.
"That's incredible," Radek interjected during the pause. "What a coincidence that you and Colonel Sheppard knew one another back at the academy."
"Well," Lorne replied, lifting his glass to wash down his last swallow, "it's not like there's dozens of Air Force Academies popping up all over the place. The choices are pretty slim."
"Of course. Go on, please," Radek requested with a bit of a grin, his eyes lit up anxiously awaiting this tale.
"You do know that you're not even supposed to ask about such things, right?" Lorne asked, knowing full well Zelenka knew about the don't ask, don't tell policy of the United States military.
"I know, but... one little secret... what's the harm?" he smiled openly and sat up straighter, listening intently. Lorne shook his head with mild agitation... very mild agitation, because he was having a great time sharing this story with someone. And it was Radek after all... I mean, who cared. Right?
"You know you're just way too eager to hear this story. That worries me a bit. It's not like it ever happened again... and it's not likely to ever happen again," he wanted to make that clear.
"I know, I know! I just find it intriguing that both of you... the military commander of Atlantis and his second were.... you know..." Zelenka shrugged, at least having the decency to pretend to feel sheepish about the topic. Lorne shook his head with a small grin and then chose to continue the trip down memory lane.
"Sheppard was...... John was a senior at the academy. His last semester and needed to graduate with high honors if he hoped for a slot in the Flight School. He wanted to be a pilot so bad the very thought of it was like caffeine to his system."
Zelenka grinned as he listened, understanding the colonel's love for being in the air. That was one thing about Sheppard that was the only part of his heart and soul that the man wore proudly on his sleeve.
"Anyway... he was majored in History and I had a minor in it. The guy's a whiz with numbers... math?... yeah. He aced all the mathematics courses without even cracking a book I'd heard. Some sort of genius savant or something..."
Radek chuckled lightly at that but didn't interrupt.
"So anyway, I went to his room one night to see if he wanted to grab a bite to eat and maybe a movie on post, but when I got there... well, I had to bash on his door a few times before he opened it and I sort of figured something was wrong..."
~   *   ~   *   ~
"What??" John shouted as he pulled open the door. Without waiting for an answer he noted Evan on the other side and simply turned back into his room muttering to himself.
Evan's brow knitted together as his new friend walked away, leaving him standing in the hall, as he continued to mumble to himself. One hand played around his ear and temple as if tuning in a radio for better reception... or a schizophrenic vying with the voices in his head for a moment to be heard above the din.
"Hey... hey! What's the matter with you?" Evan asked as he quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind him so no passers by would see the state Sheppard was in.
"I can't think."
"What?" Lorne asked.
"I can't think! I can't think!" John shouted at him, knocking himself in the head with his own fist.
"Stop that!" Evan said, grabbing his hand to make him stop. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I can't remember any of this stuff...!" John told him, his voice cracking with the strain of mental exhaustion and frustration.
"You're over doing it," Evan told him again, for the huindredth time this week. "Finals are still months away, John. You're gonna have nothing left if you keep this up."
"I have to pass. I have to graduate with high honors! If I don't... if I fail even one course---!" John told him and Evan wasn't sure if he realized he was shouting. He scowled at him, concerned.
"Look... you need a break," he told him calmly and ignored it as John shook his head before he was even done talking. "Yes," Lorne insisted, grabbing a jacket from the closet and pushing it into John's hands.
"No, I can't. I have to study. Ancient history..."
~   *   ~
"Ancient history?" Radek asked, surprised.
"Not that Ancient history.... Earth's ancient history... I know, weird, huh?" Lorne replied. "Anyway..."
~   *   ~
Evan refused to take no for an answer and ushered his friend out of the dorm and physically pushed him along down the corridor to keep him moving. He got John outside and into a taxi that pulled up at his hail. Evan requested they be brought to the small bistro that John loved to spend quiet time in. He'd found him there often, pouring over his books, and balancing his studies and socializing with friends that popped by his table to give him a needed distraction. 
Right now, a distraction was the one thing John Sheppard needed and Evan Lorne would see to it that he got one. They ate a quiet meal,after Lorne finally chose something for John since his companion was brain fried and just staring out the large picture window at the darkness outside the restaurant as if in a trance.
He finally got John's attention long enough to get him to start eating and once his belly recognized what was dropping into it as food it apparently demanded more and John began to shovel the food in, nearly gasping for air between bites.
"Slow down. You're gonna make yourself sick," Evan warned. When John didn't heed the warning, he reached over and grabbed his wrist, knocking a forkful of food off his fork and John looked over at him as if surprised. "Slow down, I said. There's no time limit here... we got all night."
John realized that his friend was right and took a deep breath. He looked exhausted and Evan worried about him a bit. When he remained staring at him, his hand gripping John's wrist, Sheppard finally asked, "You gonna hold my hand all night?"
"Hmm? Oh! Sorry," Evan shook himself and let go of John's wrist. "Hey, what'dya say we go for a walk after? It's a nice night and you need time out of that dorm. Get some exercise."
"Sure," John agreed, feeling a bit better with a full stomach and realizing he had a pretty good friend in Evan Lorne. Now here was a cadet that would go places, John was sure. "Sure, Lorne, whatever you want."
That answer made Evan arch one eyebrow with interest. "Whatever I want?" he asked to be sure.
John nodded without really thinking about it, afterall, he trusted his new friend. Lorne had been a good friend since they'd met a few months ago. He was always there when John needed him, regardless of what John needed. Sometimes he was a study partner, sometimes he was his practice-tester and other times he was just a friend who came along with a needed distraction and John appreciated all of it.
"Sure, within reason, of course," John added.
"What does that mean?- 'within reason'?" Evan wanted to know. He had to admit, to himself if to no other, that he'd found John Sheppard quite attractive from the moment they were introduced by a mutual friend. However, the military frowned upon same gender attractions so Lorne kept that little tidbit to himself. However, he often wondered how Sheppard hadn't picked up on his interest, but then again... the guy might be a math genius but he was no rocket scientist, now was he.
"Well... you know... within reason..." John expounded in his usual manner of repeating the same thing twice as if the same words, simply repeated, would make themselves more clear by their own virtue. Lorne grinned at him wryly, he had to admit that was one of the qualities he found most endearing of the future air force officer... his playfulness and innocence in a lot of ways.
"Right. I guess I'll just figure out what that means on my own," Evan offered with a smirk and John gave him a crooked grin and shrugged.
So after the meal was done and paid for, they took a stroll down to the park nearby. It was pleasant and peaceful there, even in the middle of the afternoon. It seemed an unspoken agreement to all who visited the green and the swan pond to keep it serene. Students spent their study time in the park, getting much needed fresh air and indirect social activities while not neglecting their school work. Friends came to the park for exercise and activities such as tossing a frisbee and lovers came to the park for their picnics and... other activities.
So the two cadets walked together silently as they entered the park. There were street lamps along the stone walkways that stood like sentinels keeping watch over park visitors. They allowed a peaceful glow to light the way around the pond, to their right benches were placed a few dozen yards apart from each other and to their left the sidewalk was lined with decorative bushes and gardens that broke at intervals to allow strollers access to the open grassy areas of the park without having to climb through the landscaping if they chose to exit the sidewalk.
They walked a short way around the pond when John veered off toward one of the benches and took a seat. Evan followed him and they enjoyed the quiet for a few minutes: John simply taking in the silence, but Evan was surveying the area, listening for hushed voices or lovers making out in the bushes nearby. He relaxed when he decided they were alone out here.
"This is nice," he offered quietly.
"Yeah it is. Thanks," John replied.
"For what?"
"You know... for getting me out. Getting me away from the books for a while. I thought I was losing my mind there for a bit. I guess I've been kinda overdoing it," John admitted, relaxing against the bench and draping his arm over the back, as he watched a couple walking on the sidewalk under the street lamps on the other side of the large swan pond.
Evan took note of John's relaxed position and discreetly slid closer to him. Not so much closer that there wasn't space between them still, but enough so that when Evan leaned back he'd be resting against John's arm.
When he did lean back, the touch of his back against John's arm made Sheppard shift and pull his arm back down. Evan tried not to overtly react to his withdrawal and tried to sound nonchalant when he said, "Oh sorry. You can put your arm back if you want. I don't mind."
"Nnnno, I'm good," John remarked and purposely looked everywhere else but at Lorne. So Lorne slid closer to him, his eyes glued to John's face to gauge his reaction. John's brows raised a bit when he felt the pressure of Lorne's thigh against his own. His eyes wandered around, not really looking at anything in particular.
"Is this all right?" Lorne asked, purposely keeping his tone conversational and friendly.
"Hmm? Oh yeahsureit'sfine," John rattled off, but the tension in his body belied his attempt to sound relaxed. So Lorne pressed in closer and John's eyes wandered to him finally. "Lorne?"
"Call me Evan, John."
"Evan... what are you doing?" he asked with a non-accusatory tone.
Lorne stared at him up close, studying the shadows and angles of John's face in the glow of the soft lights and the night's shadows. He watched as John's tongue came out to wet his lip, another endearing thing he did that made Evan crazy. He slowly leaned toward the taller man and John's eyes widened a bit, one brow arched high.
"Evan..." he offered his first name again as he leaned toward that lush mouth, his hand coming down on John's thigh...
"Whoa!" John called out as he started and bolted up from the bench. Lorne jumped up and followed him as Sheppard backed away... wandering a bit as if unsure which direction to go and what the hell was happening here.
"What? What's the matter?" Lorne asked him. John shook his head and wandered in a circle and Evan reached out to grab his arm. "John..."
"No, no... nononono..." Sheppard muttered as he happened to find an opening in the segmented landscape and walked through toward the park. Lorne chased after him, worried that he'd lost a friend, but more concerned that he'd only added to John's worries and frets.
He followed him, catching him as he stumbled in the dark and wandered blindly totally unfocused.
"Where are you going?" Evan asked as he caught up to him.
"I don't know," John answered automatically. Lorne reached for him and John pulled away, stumbling over a tree root in the dark and Evan caught his arm. He wasn't able to keep him on his feet though because John was taller and a bit downhill from him and Lorne was dragged down to the ground with his friend.
In the dark, on the cool grass, John came to a stop on his back. He stared up at the star speckled sky, feeling Lorne's presence nearby.
"You okay?" Evan asked, lying on the grass nearby.
"Yeah...... you?" John answered.
"Yeah. We okay?"
"......... yeah. I guess so," John replied then sighed softly. "Why'd you do that?"
He listened to the sounds of Lorne sitting up and then moving closer until his face appeared over him. John moved his eyes from the starry sky to look up into the shadowed face of his new friend. He gave Evan time to think about it and waited for the answer.
"Because....." Lorne started slowly, unsure, "I really like you."
"Well..... I like you too, Lorne."
"Yeah," Evan remarked with a tight grin, "but I like you a lot more."
John stared at him, still not wanting to really admit what he was sure he was certain that he thought he might know.  - What??- exactly. The next thing he knew, Lorne was moving in and he slowly closed the distance until he'd planted his lips on John's.
"Mmm!"  John exclaimed, quite surprised.
Lorne simply planted the kiss on John's mouth and then didn't move for the longest three seconds of his life... until he felt John's mouth relax under his and his lips moved and opened and Evan didn't ask any questions.
Their kiss deepened rapidly and heatedly, although John didn't move otherwise. Lorne got the distinct impression that kissing other guys wasn't really John Sheppard's thing, but something inside him was crying out for the contact... guy, girl, whatever... at this particular moment in time it didn't matter and Evan took advantage of the offering.
They kissed hot and heavy for a long time and then finally a hand came up and grabbed the back of his head and Lorne's heart raced. John held him there and devoured his mouth like a starving man offered a feast. And while Sheppard was totally focused on the kiss, and he was quite a good kisser, Evan noted, gasping for air when he got the chance... his hands got busy unbuttoning John's shirt.
Once he'd gotten through the jacket and the shirt, Lorne's hands glided over his torso, feeling the blanket of hair covering his body as his hands roamed over John's chest and belly. Their kiss turned into necking as their mouths wandered aimlessly, hungry for the taste of heated flesh and human contact.
Lorne noticed right away that John's actions were more gentle and romantic with his passion, whereas Evan was just fixated on getting what he wanted before John changed his mind. His hands flew to Sheppard's belt buckle and flung it open, fumbling in his excitement for the buttons of the blue battle fatigue pants. Their heated kiss had aroused both of them... no surprise where Lorne was concerned but he was pleasantly surprised to find it had the same effect on his friend.
When John realized what he was sensing was Lorne's hands he began to protest a bit but Evan shushed him, assuring him everything was fine. Then Evan's hand slid inside his waistband and John sucked in a breath and froze. Lorne chose to distract him by coming in for another kiss and it worked.
He let his hand work unhurried as he received another very hot and passionate kiss. Sheppard was a hell of a kisser and there was a strength in his hands that surprised Evan. He knew that John needed some downtime to decompress from the heavy workload of studying, exams, and worrying so much about losing his dream on this last course. But he hadn't quite realized just how wound up his friend had been until now.
Evan continued working him slowly with a skillful hand until John was moaning and writhing slowly under his weight. Lorne slowly broke their kiss and trailed his mouth down John's throat, to his chest, played around a nipple peeking from the dark matte of hair and continued past his ribcage.
John's hands roamed in Lorne's hair as he drifted blissfully in the heated passion his friend created for him and guided him toward a climactic conclusion. His belly trembled at the touch of Evan's lips as he passed over his navel and then nuzzled his face across his hipbones.
Sheppard gasped, his fingers curling into Lorne's hair almost painfully as he changed his method of attention. His mouth was hot and wet and quite capable and Evan knew what he was doing, that was evident. He'd work John slowly, picking up his pace now and again until he'd sense his peaking arousal through the tensing of his body and raspy breaths. Then he'd back off dramatically, allowing John to relax and catch his breath.
However, after half a dozen moments of believing that release, and relief, was imminent only to have Lorne suddenly stop to change his tactics and make him hold off, Sheppard began to get frustrated again. At first his groans in response to the teasing was fun, for both of them, but when the sound turned more toward an angry growl, Lorne decided enough was enough. He'd gotten what he wanted and now it was time to give John what he needed.
His hands stroked and massaged carefully and John had begun to relax into the rhythm when Evan looked up. He watched Sheppard's long, lithe form, exposed to the night as his shirt and jacket lay open to his sides, his body writhed like a rolling wave in heightened arousal nearing its peak. Lorne smiled in appreciation and then took him in again.
John nearly arched off the damp ground as Evan took him all the way in. His hands clawed into the ground as Lorne worked him fast and finally determined to give him what he needed. Sheppard yelled out, his cry echoed back at them through the night's quiet as he felt the powerful push rising. His eyes rolled over white and the air froze in his lungs as he released the powerful orgasm that Evan had built up inside him.
He cried out again as he felt Lorne's throat pulse around him and knowing he hadn't pulled away only spurred his orgasm up a few notches. His hands clutched at Lorne's head, his hips forcing him deep inside that hungry mouth and John lost himself in that moment of pure ecstacy. No longer attentive or caring of being heard or seen, he voiced his intense pleasure with each pulsing surge into Evan's hot mouth.
Sheppard raised his head from the ground as he hit the summit of his orgasm and watched Lorne. It was just erotic as hell to actually see the guy taking it all in without complaint or indecision. "Ahhhhh!" John shouted with a last strong throb of constriction. Lorne waited the few seconds for the offer to expel onto his tongue and then he slowly pulled away, giving him a last sensation of suction before breaking contact.
John gasped, sucking in copious amounts of air as he tried to get his lungs working smoothly again. Lorne simply watched him as he raised up on his knees by John's feet and smiled to see the complete and uninhibited reaction to his ministrations. He waited and watched quietly for a few minutes and then John's entire body relaxed and his chest expanded deeply as he finally took in a cleansing breath.
Evan rested his hand on John's shin to remind his friend where he was. John turned his head right and left, checking the area and Lorne did the same, the realization triggered by his friend's sudden awareness.
Still lying on the grass, John's hand came up and flopped on his belly, scrubbed lightly against his chest and then reached down to tuck himself back in. With shakey fingers he slowly secured the five buttons of his pants and Lorne simply watched him. He had a great body and he wasn't just skinny, Sheppard was built like an athlete; a runner, or a skier. He was in great shape and alot sexier disrobed than even Evan had imagined.
"First time?" Lorne finally asked simply. John's hands stopped moving and a moment later he replied.
Lorne grinned at the offended tone John took. He sort of figured Sheppard wasn't a virgin, I mean, the girls were nuts over this guy, right? But that wasn't precisely what he meant.
"I meant, first time with a guy?"
"Oh," John commented, still lying on the grass, and Lorne smiled. "Ummm.... yyyyyyeah," he answered hesitantly.
"Yeah, I kinda figured."
"What?" John said, sounding offended again. "What does that mean?" he raised his head to look at Lorne who simply shrugged and grinned back as he got to his feet. "Wait. Where you going?"  John sat up, pulling his air force belt secured and spun onto his knees before getting to his feet. His knees were still a bit shakey and he felt like he was walking on a thick rubber mat as he followed Lorne down a small sloping hill.
"Nothing. I didn't mean nothin' by it. I just meant you didn't seem the type to go after guys," Evan mentioned off-handedly as he walked away purposely making John struggle to keep up as he re-buttoned his shirt and shoved the hem into his waistband, trying to get himself straightened out.  Oh that's a good one, John... straightened back out. Versus what? Being gay?
"I'm not gay," John blurted out.
"I know that," Lorne told him honestly.
"Wait."  John stopped suddenly and the thud of his footfalls on the ground suddenly halting made Evan stop and turn around.
"I wasn't gay," John said as he calculated what it meant to have done what he just did.
Lorne grinned at him, placing his hands on his hips and informed John, "You're still not gay."

"I came onto you. I seduced you. You didn't stand a chance," Lorne told him. John blinked, looking openly confused and the expression only made Lorne chuckle.
"I'm not gay?"
"Doubt it," Evan replied.
"But,"  John paused, turned to look back up the hill to "the spot", then turned back toward Lorne. "But that was... that was... really good."
"Thank you," Lorne smiled wide. "Just don't ever expect it again," he said and turned to walk away again. That jarred Sheppard and he blinked then ran on long gangly legs to catch up.
"Wait," John said as he came up beside him, "I didn't know you were gay."
"I'm not," Lorne replied.
"You're not?"
"Then what was that all about??" he asked and Evan turned his face to him without missing a step and smiled.
"I've always had a weakness for Sheppard's Pie."
John blinked and curled his lip at that image. "That's disgusting!"
Lorne broke out laughing and John shoved him, pushing him across the sidewalk and over the other side.
"Feel better?' he asked as he came back alongside him.
"Shut up."
"I just hope when I get out of here I never see your ugly mug again," John told him and Lorne smiled, knowing it was a lie, but the thought did make him realize...
"You know what the odds are we'll ever see each other again?"
"Yeah," John nodded, "but then again, the odds are never on my side."
~   *   ~   *   ~
Radek's eyes went wide and he laughed as Major Lorne finished his story. He sat back against the chair and nodded, still smiling. "What are the odds, eh?" he repeated. "What did Colonel Sheppard say when he found out you were gonna be his Second In Command in another galaxy??"
"Nothing," Lorne said with a shrug, raising his mug to sip. "I don't think he remembers me."
Radek's eyes went wide again and he blinked at Lorne wondering if that was true. With Sheppard's stoic manner it was so hard to read him sometimes. Lorne simply sipped his coffee and answered with a grin.
~ End ~
John virtual aurora

(no subject)

Title: A Child's Insight
Author/Artist: ltcoljsheppard
Summary/Description: John spends time with Teyla's son, now five years old
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairing: John, T.J. and Teyla

Word count: 2352
Spoilers: Teyla's son's canon name is mentioned, referred to as T.J.
Warnings: Season 5 spoiler, baby's name
Recipient: this was written for liviapenn who promted my muse for this one
Notes: for the JohnTeyla Thing-a-thon 2008, liviapenn's request for a J/T and/or baby telling stories story... Hope you like it.


Another day babysitting and Colonel Sheppard couldn't really think of any better way to spend his day off to be honest and being such a wonderful day outside he opted to bring the boy for a long walk out to the pier. They often came here to spend one-on-one time together and people seemed to understand that this was their time and rarely interrupted their outings.

"Where does snow come from?" asked the dark-haired boy holding John's hand as they walked out onto the south pier.

Sheppard looked down at the five year old and then up to the bright blue sky wondering what prompted the question as the air was warm and the sun shone brightly above. Torren had seen snow once very recently when he was allowed to join the team on an off-duty excursion to a planet during its winter season.

"Well, it comes from the sky," Sheppard replied simply. He often found it best to simply answer the question being asked and to not lead the boy's curiosity into other avenues. It eventually got there on its own anyway.

"I know that part," Torren remarked matter-of-factly with a bit of a tone. "But where in the sky? From the clouds?"

Sheppard had to grin though because Teyla's son had turned out to be quite bright and sometimes John had to remind himself that the child was only five years old... Earth time. It was difficult for some of the Earthers to use the 27 hour days to count off the years. The extra hours in each day were great in order to get more work done on a duty shift, but the shorter year would mean that the boy would actually be seven years according to the revolutions of the planet they currently called home for Atlantis. In Earth days, Torren John had just turned five years only three months ago.

"Uncle John?" the boy tugged on the colonel's hand and John shook himself back to the present and the child looking to him for answers. Teyla had taken a few hours for herself to join in on a girl's poker game. It was Sunday again so many of the expedition members were given their mandatory day of rest.

"Sorry," John offered with a grin. "Yeah, the clouds hold the moisture high above the planet---"

"Like rain?"

"Yeah, like rain. When the clouds get full of the rain and become too heavy... ya' know... like the sponge you play with in the tub...?"

"Uh huh," Torren nodded. "It fills with water and when it's really heavy I can squeeze it and all the water comes out."

"Right. Well... that's sort of how clouds work," John told him.

"Oh," the boy replied and then there was a long pause. Torren John Emmagen then looked up at the man whose name he carried and blinked wide brown eyes. "But who squeezes the clouds?" he asked.

"Umm... well... nobody, T.J.," Sheppard told him, calling the child by his given nickname. John was the only one on base who shared the special nickname with him and Torren accepted it as a sign of his special friendship with the man he knew as his Uncle John. Uncle Rodney called him Torren and Uncle Ronon called him one or the other depending if Uncle John was with them or not.

"Then how does the water come out if nobody squeezes it?" the boy asked again as if making a point that the previous answer had to be illogical.

"Ummm, it has something to do with the barometer... I think," Sheppard wiggled through and then had an epiphany. "You'll have to ask your mother."

"Oh... okay," Torren nodded.

It was always so easy to squirm out of the harder questions just by saying "ask your mother" and Sheppard was learning to use that escape a lot. He didn't know a whole lot about raising kids and he wasn't sure if it was always this easy and this much fun... or was it only so now because of who the child belonged to? All he knew was this entire experience, of being allowed to help raise this particular child, and to feel as though he was part of their little family unit, was about the best feeling and the most wonderous event that John Sheppard could've ever hoped to experience in his lifetime. Sometimes when he looked closely at T.J. he could almost convince himself of the "what if" part of the equation.

"Why do rainbows appear in the sky?" T.J. asked as if it was his simple duty to keep asking questions. This particular one caused John to look up into the sky again as they came up to the safety rail on the upper level of the pier. He smiled to see no rainbow and looked down to see Torren testing the lower ledge with his toe and John raised him up by the hand and guided him onto the small shelf so he could look over at the ocean too.

"Uncle John?" Torren said and as Sheppard looked down at him he said, "Rainbows?"

John smiled and explained, "Rainbows are formed because of drops of moisture in the air reflects the sun's rays. Each one depending on its angle to the solar beams creates a prism of different colors."

"A prism? Like the kaleidoscope you gave me?"

"Yes," Sheppard grinned, "just like that."

"Cool!" the boy smiled. He thought it was cool to use the word 'cool' just like Uncle John always did. He liked using words Uncle John used, he liked alot of things about his Uncle John. Torren often asked if he would one day be as tall as Uncle John. His mother would smile wide and say softly to him "with any luck". He would smile at that answer because he felt lucky all the time and the look on his mother's face when he'd ask always made him sleep better at night... but he didn't know why.

"Why does ice melt when you put it in your pocket?"

Sheppard smiled crookedly at that one. "Teej, did you leave a snowball in your pocket when we got back from Ulis the other day?"

"Yeah," the boy nodded vigorously.

"And what happened?" John asked him, trying to hide the bemused tone in his voice.

"Mama said 'where did this puddle come from?' and I told her my snowball must have pee'd on the carpet. But when I got out of bed to get dressed and bring my snowball to the breakfast table, it wasn't there. Mama said it melted."

"It was too warm in your pocket. You should have put it in the freezer," John informed him and T.J.'s eyes widened with realization and then he nodded, committing the information to his memory.

"What makes the night?"

"When the sun moves to the other side of the planet, it gets dark on this side and we have night for a few hours until the sun rotates around to our side again."

"Where do stars come from?"

"Stars are formed from giant balls of gas," Sheppard told him and T.J. giggled with that answer.

"Then Uncle Rodney must have a lot of stars in his belly!" the boy crowed and then laughed a brilliant child's laugh that actually made John chuckle whenever he heard it. So the two stood side by side chuckling and giggling at the stars in McKay's belly that produced balls of gas.

The two buddies poked and prodded each other in taunting play as they enjoyed the day's warmth and the fresh air out on the pier. Torren's giggles and screeches reverberated off the walls and echoed up the sides of the tall spires of the Ancient city as Uncle John tickled him and teased to toss him into the ocean so he can play with the whales.

As the two finally quieted down, Sheppard simply stood at the rail contemplating the twists and turns his life had taken to bring him to this point. The silence stretched out and the sun had moved a good distance in the alien sky when Torren leaned back and rested his weight against his Uncle John. He lolled his head from side to side as he daydreamed a child's fantasies, standing on the safety rail his head rested against John's chest.

Sheppard looked down at the crown of dark hair as T.J. hummed a quiet child's song he'd learned in classes with Halling and the other Athosian children. John smiled and dropped a soft kiss on top of the boy's head.

"Uncle John?" came Torren's tiny voice as his contact triggered another set of questions from the toddler.


"Where does love come from?"

Wow. That one brought John up short. He straightened and caught his breath with the realization that he had no idea where it comes from. He could feel it inside him though, a weighty sensation that seemed to fill him up and made his heart beat with more purpose than just keeping him alive. Torren waited silently for the answer as if he knew the depth of his question. Finally Sheppard could only tell him the truth.

"I don't know, T.J." Sheppard told him sincerely and the young Athosian child tilted his head to look up at him.

"Do you know what love is, Uncle John?" he asked and Colonel Sheppard took a deep breath and the expansion of his chest lifted the boy gently forward before settling him again.

Sheppard wrapped one arm lightly around the boy's belly as if to keep him safely on this side of the rail but, in truth, it was an embrace John suddenly felt compelled to offer. His touch now mirrored the slight touch he'd often given Teyla, unsure of how to hold her in her times of need. Not knowing if his touch would reveal too much to her. Not knowing if his touch would betray him and convey to her what his words could not.

"I have an idea, T.J," he finally whispered, not looking into those big dark eyes. Trying to defer the boy's apparent scrutiny up close, Sheppard rerouted the question back to the boy. "Do you know what love is?" he asked, quite curious as to what a five year old would come up with as an answer.

"Yes," Torren replied solidly, without reservation and his decisive answer made Sheppard turn to meet the boy's gaze.

"You do?"

"Yeah," T.J. repeated.

"What is love, T.J?" John asked sincerely this time.

"Love is...." he paused as he tried to think of an example to give his uncle. "Remember when you came over on Christmas morning to open presents with me and Mama?"

"Yes," Sheppard whispered. He remembered. It was one of the most incredible experiences he could've hoped for. A sense of true family, sharing around the tree on Christmas morn. "I remember."

"Well... " Torren paused for a moment and John stared at him deeply as if willing the boy to give him the answer to the universe itself. T.J. had a way about him like that. A special way. Sometimes he was just a regular little boy wondering where rainbows come from and other times... he was much more than that. This felt like one of those times.

"... love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen..."

And there it was. John stared at his namesake and Torren slowly raised his soft pudgy child-hands and laid them on John's cheeks.

"Love is... the way Mama's voice changes when she says your name," he told John.

"What?" Sheppard asked.

"Mama's voice changes when she says your name. Just like it does when she says my name. It becomes softer... like she just breathed out a feather. She only does it when she says my name... or yours. The way she says it... lets you know that your name is always safe coming out of her mouth."


John blinked. He finally remembered how to move and he swallowed hard and shook himself from that revelation. He kept his hand on the boy to keep him safely steady, but he had to turn away to collect himself. Could a child so young be so perceptive?

"It's the same sound your voice has when you ask Mama if she's all right," Torren informed him and Sheppard's chest hitched tight.

"I asked Mama if you could be my Daddy..." Torren confided and John slowly turned to look at the small boy.

"What did she say?" he whispered, barely able to move air through his larynx.

"She said... in a way, you are my daddy."

Sheppard's expression broke and he almost lost it right there. What he wouldn't give to have a son. What he'd give to have this boy for a son. His eyes welled up and threatened to overflow but he fought to keep the churning emotions at bay.

"Can I call you daddy? Just once?" T.J. asked, looking at John with a spark in his eyes that held onto a hope that one day he would be able to call someone "daddy".

John had promised Teyla that he wouldn't stop searching for Kanaan, the man she believed to be the boy's father. Estranged from his own father at a relatively young age, John understood too deeply the need to call someone daddy. Just one time.... just this one time.....

"Just this once," John assented, but truth be told, he wasn't sure if he permitted it for the boy's sake, or his own.

Torren threw himself against Sheppard with his tiny arms outstretched as if trying to wrap around him. "I love you, daddy."

John embraced the tiny boy and held him tight to him, holding him there for a long time so the child couldn't witness his tears as he whispered, "I love you too...... son."

~ End ~
John virtual aurora

Created Fanfiction group

I seriously have no idea what's up with LJ....... but I just opened a new fanfiction group on Yahoo called

Stargate: Atlantis Fanfiction

It's a place for all of the authors and readers who can't access LJ for one reason or another to find something to read or to just have a new place to post their fics and find new audiences outside the LJ community.

Cuz this is just not happening for me anymore.

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 Type your cut contents here.
John virtual aurora

LJ CUT isnt working for me


This is starting to get reeeeeeeeeally irritating. And if I can't start posting my backed up stories on LJ WITH a cut pretty soon I'm just gonna say F*CK  IT and post them without it.

What's up with this thing?  I'm only allowed to post ONE freakin' story a month? and then the LJ CUT quits on me after that??

So anyone who is gettting repeated notices of my posting a new entry and nothing is there it's cuz I deleted it to try again and again and again...... sorry.

John virtual aurora

(no subject)

Title: Wanna Trade?
Author: John                                     
Pairing: Gen/Team
Rating: PG
Brief Summary: McKay gets stuck with an ice cream sandwich
Notes/acknowledgmen ts: prompted for Ten Minute Muses
Disclaimers: Don't own them but they bring me pleasure, no profit though. MGM and Sci Fi Channel gets all the good stuff.
Saturday, June 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream honor of the day,
anyone want to write some food play?--- Makebelieve YG

~ * ~~ * ~

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Ronon looked over at McKay  with a dull stare, and his rather dull ice cream sandwich sitting on a glass plate in front of him. Putting his attention to his own bowl the Satedan grumbled one word.
"Come on," McKay whined, "I hate ice cream sandwiches. Now if it was an ice cream sandwich with chocolate ice cream... now that would be a treat, but this... this is just --"
"Why did you take it?" Ronon pointed out and then deposited a large spoonful of melting chocolate ice cream into his mouth.
"I don't knooooow... because the freezer was getting over crowded and I reached in blindly through the mob hording around the ice cream bin and---"
"You didn't wait your turn," Dex pointed out bluntly.
"Yes," Rodney admitted, well-chastized without having to truly be chastized at all. He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at the Satedan. The man was quiet but had a skill in his silence that made you feel totally reprimanded with two words and a look. How did he do that?  "You sure you don't wanna trade?" he asked. "Saturday is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day," Rodney offered up as a last resort.
"On what planet?" Ronon asked deadpanning.
"Oh... umm..." Rodney thought about that for a moment. "Earth."
"Of course," Ronon replied. "Your planet is weird."
"Yes, yes, I know."
Ronon continued to enjoy his bowl of ice cream at a leisurely pace when Teyla appeared and sat down beside him with her own bowl of chocolate ice cream. Hers was topped with a banana, some chocolate sauce, lots of whipped cream that always made the Athosian smile and a cute little cherry on the top and all of that was sprinkled with tiny edible confections.
"What's that?" Ronon asked with subdued interest, looking from his bowl to hers.
"It is an ice cream sundae!" Teyla informed him with a large smile and eyes bright with anticipation. "Colonel Sheppard put it together for me. Doesn't it look delicious?"
Ronon nodded.
"Wanna trade?" Rodney asked her and received a disbelieving look from Teyla. She looked from him down to his plate with the melting ice cream sandwich and gave him a pitiful look.
"I do not believe so," she replied and then scooped up a spoonful of icky goodness and offered the first bite to her large Satedan friend. Ronon smiled and took the offering as McKay watched with a hangdog expression on his face. Ronon savored the blast of flavor and smiled at Rodney as if to say 'you should try this'.
"But National Chocolate Ice Cream Day is coming up on Saturday," Rodney tried that tactic with her as well.
"The what?" Teyla asked as she shared her sundae with Ronon who was happily taking his equal share.
"Never mind," Rodney withered. Just then Sheppard came over and slid into the seat beside Rodney, happily scooping the chocolate ice cream from his ice cream sandwich with his tongue. "Hey, where'd you get a chocolate ice cream sandwich?" McKay asked, exasperated.
"From the freezer. Where else?" John answered as he retrieved another glop of chocolate creaminess on the tip of his tongue as his fingers smooshed the two cookie coverings together to force the ice cream from between them.
"Wanna trade?" Rodney asked him.
John looked down at the pathetically limp and gooey sandwich on Rodney's plate and gave him a sympathetic look, his face twisting into a comical expression. He pretended to think about it for a moment and then replied bluntly.
Ronon and Teyla quirked amused grins at John as Rodney let out a heavy sigh and fell against the seat back pouting. John's eyes scanned everyone's ice cream fare, noting that Rodney was the only one with vanilla ice cream.
"Hey... Saturday's National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, ya' know? You should be enjoying chocolate ice cream."
"Hmph!" Rodney grunted loudly and folded his arms over his chest. Ronon and Teyla exchanged grins as Colonel Sheppard looked oblivious and innocent... except for that spark of evil in his hazel eyes. He squeezed the last of the ice cream from the sandwich and caught it on his tongue as Elizabeth walked by with a tray that boasted a large ice cream sundae.
Rodney grabbed his sticky plate and dashed away from the table. The three remaining smirked at one another as McKay's voice drifted back to them.
"Elizabeth.. . wanna trade?"
~ End ~

John virtual aurora

Fic - "He Broke It Off" John/Teyla Funfic PG Humorous


 Title: "He Broke It Off!"
Author: ltcoljsheppard
Email: ltcoljsheppard@
Author's websites: none
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis (SGA)
Pairing: John and Teyla
Word Count:  650 words
Category: Humorous
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Spoilers: None
Series/Sequel: thinking about collecting my funfics into a compilation, but right now.. no
Brief Summary:  Teyla explains a tragic incident to her friend Dr. Hewston
Warnings: None
Notes/acknowledgments:  Prompt from Peja "he broke it off" at TenMinutesWithTheMuse group.
Disclaimers:  Don't own them. MGM and Sci-Fi Channel does. No profit, just using them for entertainment purposes as they were meant to be used for. Just for fun. No disrespect ever intended.

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